“Mastery of the world is achieved by letting things take their natural course. You cannot master the world by changing the natural way.” – Lao Tzu
I’ll admit, this thought process is one I’ve had a hard time maintaining. When my wife, Kim, was diagnosed with a really aggressive lymphoma in May of 2024, less than a month after I finished “The Book of Broyls”, letting go was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I knew who I was, what we are capable of, and wanted to exert my will on the universe. I cried out, demanded, plotted and planned, all in an effort to manipulate reality. At first I was in denial. “No way she has cancer. No way.” I even told this to the first doctor we saw. And even once the diagnosis was confirmed, I had written out a plan, and a very specific way this was going to go down, leading to the final scans which would show she was 100% cancer free. I even had specific dates I wanted this to happen. But about three months into her chemotherapy, when the first PET Scan, while showing great improvement, was NOT 100% cancer free, I finally realized that the Universe was not done with this trial that we were going through. I sat down one night and talked to whoever was listening, and said “Okay, that’s it. I am officially done trying to predict or direct anything. I know Kim is going to beat this so it doesn’t matter how.” I said I was letting go of everything and whatever happens, happens. A month later, when chemotherapy was complete, she got a new PET Scan. The results? 100% cancer free.
When we let go of expectations of HOW life is supposed to play out, and we focus on the individual outcomes along the path to whatever goal we have, we add needless stress, anxiety and frustration to our lives when things don’t go exactly the way we want them to. In the case of Kim’s battle, our perspective had to change. We could no longer anticipate anything along the way. Not even positive outcomes like “Well, they’ll remove the tumor and it will be isolated to that area and she’ll be fine.” We have to focus on what we know to be the future, that she will be healed. Let the doctors do what they do and whatever happens along the way, we’ll get through it. The steps don’t matter because if we get caught up in each step, every moment we’re caught up is a diversion from our true pathway. So we let go. We let everything happen that’s going to happen, every opinion, test and surgery, and the only thing we focus on is what we know- that Kim WILL be healed.
When it comes to big situations in life, you have to let go. But it’s not the big moments like a cancer out of nowhere that requires the most self-discipline. I mean, in things like job hunting and dating and school classes, etc., those things are always going to work themselves out one way or another, and you’ll be FORCED to let go to your expectations because those situations will never play out exactly as you want them to. There’s always hiccups and bumps in the road that take you by surprise and make you reassess your path, but in the end whether you let go or not, it doesn’t matter. Everything plays out the way they’re going to play out. LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS.
However, the aspects of our life that we HAVE to let go of don’t have to do with situations, but perceptions. The way we perceive ourselves, others and life itself has to have a complete overhaul. The fear and hate that resides within our Ego colors our perceptions to the point where we pre-judge pretty much everything we come in contact with. We hold on to prejudices of everything we come in contact with that are based on opinions of others, history, upbringing, you name it. Racism, sexism, classism, all the hate-based isms can all be eliminated if we simply LET GO OF THE HATE.
Listen, you all know this in your heart, there is no reason to hate someone based on something they can’t control, something they can control, or something they did or didn’t do. What does holding a grudge or judging someone on their choice of clothing do for your happiness? You know how you get a tight feeling in your chest when you harbor some ill will against them and their picture pops up on social media? Who is REALLY hurting in that situation? That person, who isn’t even thinking about you? Or you, who now is going to be feeling anxious or angry for the next who knows how long? LET GO OF THE ANGER AND FORGIVE.
What about all your disappointments in life that you have clung to for literally years, sometimes decades, based on past events which are so far removed from the person you are now? Especially when most of the time, whatever or whoever it is you are disappointed with are no longer relevant to literally ANYTHING happening in your life right now. You may think they are, but the truth is you have been using these events as a reason to stay static in your own life. You have used shame or disappointment as an excuse to not move forward, most of the time without even realizing it. You hold onto shame, frame it as an iron-clad representation of who you are NOW, perceive yourself as that “screw up” or “victim” or “bully” or “criminal”, and stay fixed in that spot because you can only progress as far as you believe you can. This has to stop. You are not the same person who you were 20 years ago, 10 years ago, even last month. Every day we live, we evolve. Unless we devolve. Choose to evolve. LET GO OF THE SHAME.
The reason I’m telling you all of this is because you can handle it. You know in your heart that you should be more in control of your life. You wonder why you can’t get past certain events in your life. You’re not just letting go to the will of the creator, you’re letting go to the will of YOURSELF. Because you ARE the creator. And when you let go of all the emotions and expectations that don’t serve you, something amazing happens. You start to live in flow.
“Flow” is a state where you just ride with the current, not against it. You can visualize it like this. Your entire life is really just an exercise to keep the train on the tracks. You’ve seen how train wheels work. The wheels are bouncing up and down on and off the tracks but the train as a whole is still connected to the track the whole time. The ups and downs of those wheels are the ups and downs of life. We just need to remember the goal of keeping the train on the tracks. When you refuse to let go and assign too much weight to life’s injustices or disappointments or whatever, your train keeps derailing. Then it takes you days, months, sometimes years, getting it back on the tracks. Because that’s however long it takes for you to let go of whatever self-destructive emotion or abuse or trauma you went through that derailed you in the first place. That’s what life is. Just keeping the train on the tracks and as you remove all the hate, anger, regret, sorrow, jealousy, whatever, the ride gets smoother and smoother. THAT’s the flow state. That’s Nirvana. A smooth train ride to wherever you want to go. Because now no one triggers you. When you have NO problems, there’s no longer any bumps. It’s smooth as silk.
When we let go, we will no longer live in separation. Our highest instinct is to unify with everyone and everything on this planet. And when we all are connected, nothing can stop us from changing this world into an awesome experience where we care about everyone, so no one goes without. We will care about the fate of others and this planet, and the more we care, the more good we do, and guess what, the more good comes our way. You want to be bountiful? You want to find that new love or great job or whatever you want to make your future a bright one? LET GO. It’s work, yes, but the payment for doing a job well done is more than you could ever imagine.
